Reading for Kelly’s Wedding —  March 18, 2023

I read a really wonderful little book recently, all about how to be good at being in love

I really liked the first line of the book:

“Is love an art? Then it requires knowledge and effort.”

In the realm of marriage, I’m told by people with experience that this is true, and it is this art form we’re all here to celebrate your commitment to mastering.

But I think there is a deeper truth to the connection between love and art — that it requires no education, only inspiration.

Long before psychologists wrote books like this, the 13th century Persian poet Rumi told us:

“In your light I learn how to love.

In your beauty… how to make poems.

You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you

…but sometimes… I do. And that sight,

Becomes this art.”

Here love begets art merely in the noticing, and even the most untrained of us understand that feeling. I personally know this is true because Kelly is the first person I ever truly loved, and it took nothing more than her existing to teach me how.

Modern lessons may contain helpful tools for being a good husband and wife, but there is a reason that a poem from 800 years ago still rings true.

So I’ll add to the words of the gentlemen above and say:

“On days lit well by the light of effortless love,

feast reckless eyes on each other and be full.

Then, care, practice your craft with learned skill

when days are dimmed by strife.

Yet on those days darkest yet, close eyes unneeded,

and notice again the dancing inside of your hearts,

that you may make of this shared life,

a masterpiece.”